She's a super creep, super creep (she's super creepy)

Whether you admit to it or not, we've all Googled ourselves at some point. Maybe you've Googled yourself before a big job interview. Maybe you Google yourself when you can't sleep. But most importantly, you should give yourself a good Googling before a date.

This week, we're breaking internet stalking down two ways: Googling yourself and Googling others. 

If you're recently returning or entering the dating scene, brush up on your SEO.

Thanks, SEO Gosling.

Remember that time you took that awesome selfie for your MySpace page that had lyrics from your favorite Hawthorne Heights song? Yeah. Your date's dog just had an allergic reaction to something, and they're gonna have to "reschedule."

Know all those drunk tweets you send out about how no one but your cat understands you? Seems like that hottie from the gym must have moved out of state and switched phone numbers, because it's been a long time since they have returned your invites to spin class.

Do yourself a favor and do a search for "[First Name] + [Last Name]" and "[First Name] + [Last Name] + [City of domicile]" and maybe even sub your profession or school or workplace etc in your search terms. See what comes up. Be prepared.

Tom Hardy did not anticipate the consequences of this MySpace centerfold

Next up, ditch your last name from your Twitter and Insta handles. The last thing you need is someone creeping on your Instagram photos for the next three years and commenting "Coulda been us but you playin'" when you 'gram your next beau.

If you really want to get snazzy, get down with original content for your dating profiles. Reverse Google Image Search will be your best friend when creepin' on prospective mates. Get ahead of the curve by taking some pictures that are OKC and Tinder exclusive. Good luck reverse searching me then, chumps!

 

I am an unabashed lover of research. I'm an academic. And I feel like some human intelligence collection is necessary before a first date. And now, I share with you, my standard operating procedure for conducting a pre-date review:

1. The reverse Google image search of OkCupid profile photos. 

2. The OkCupid username search (lawlz at folks that use the same username on OKC and Twitter)

3. If from Tinder, the first name/city search in Facebook.

4. The Google of first name (and all variations of it) with last name, occupation, location, alma mater.

Without a full legal name, step four can be daunting, but if you can glean their alma mater, their major, their line of business, their club activities, etc from conversation, you can mix a good search a query together. 

Keep in mind that Google is my last resort. A few tweets or your 'Likes' on Facebook or your 10,000 nude selfies on Instagram are usually enough to give me an idea of what to expect and whether to bail. 

There's no shame in searching, friends. Do it. Live by it. EMBRACE YOUR INNER SEO. Get those H1 tabs in check and hold on tight to your GA Real-Time dashboard, because this just got real. 

Sweetest search returns,

Fearless Leader.