It's a Small World After All: Week in Review

Hi, friends. After a long Memorial Day weekend out of town with family, this lady came back with full of WTCBA gusto. This post gets extra interesting because multiple aforementioned Bs are now familiar with the blog. If you're reading this, hi, boys!

I don't know about you folks, but every time I come across a coworker on either OkCupid or Tinder, after carefully reviewing their profile for every amusing detail, I promptly swipe left. I'd rather not complicate my work with life, nor my life with work. What's more difficult to avoid, however, is meeting someone online who is good friends with a coworker.

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Thursday

Peter* and I started chatting through OkCupid and arranged a date for last Thursday at the Edgewater Lounge, a neighborhood dive bar with a patio. He dropped his last name before we met, and I did what just about any crazy stalker curious person would do: Facebook creep. “Weird, Peter and I have two mutual friends! Huh, one is a coworker, and one is an old roommate from college.” Otherwise, his Facebook page was fairly private, so my creeping didn't uncover much else.

We meet, grab some beers, and sit on the patio to chat and enjoy the beautiful early summer evening. He asks where I work and I tell him. He asks if I know our mutual friend, and I have a really bad poker face. My mild Facebook creeping is revealed. (Also, he knows my old roommate through an ex). The date did go really well as we hopped dive bars the night away (additional stops were Simon's and Ollie's). More dates to transpire.

Friday

Friday night, Fearless Leader and I went on a WTCBA scouting mission. After being the lone single ladies in a crowd of dates at the Charleston, we move over to Danny's. We settle in at the bar with some shots and beers, and in walks a cute boy. Struck with a “he looks so familiar!”, I look at my recent Tinder messages and realize that this dude has to be Chris**. I message him on Tinder, and sure enough I was right. He doesn't figure out who I am initially, but eventually moseys up to the bar and says hi.

“Yeah, I'm with my friend who works with you! He was like, 'is the girl you're talking to named Elizabeth?'” Chris and my coworker went to high school together. Fearless Leader and I eventually part ways, and I proceeded to barhop along Milwaukee Ave. and get shitfaced with these guys.

Saturday

Saturday, after I slept away the bulk of my hangover, I go out for my first actual Tinder date. Kristopher** (not Kris) and I meet up, smoke a J, and get tacos. The tacos were hands down the best part of the date. Kristopher was cute enough, I suppose, but he didn't know how to stop talking even when he knew he was talking too much. He also had a total lack of self-confidence. I wasn't feeling it, and I think he could tell. We said farewell, and I went home to catch up on Game of Thrones and fall asleep on my couch.

Sunday

Sunday, I have a somewhat of a standing date with Chris** to watch the newest episode of Game of Thrones. I met him on OkCupid pretty early into my new-found singledom, and we've hung out quite a few times since. There was beer and pizza and the usual.

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If you've been keeping count, that makes a hat-trick of Chrises following a pair of coworkers'-friends over a period of four days. As they say, when it rains, it pours. But sometimes, the raindrop maybe is BFFs with someone you work with, or have the same name as some other raindrops you know. Life is weird like that.

*Not his real name
**Real name, because there were a jillion Chrises born in the '80s.

Until next time,
Elizabeth

Safety First

Ladies and gents, we wouldn't be reliable dating correspondents if we didn't take a moment to address some basic safety concerns and tips that relate to dating in the "big city." Free drinks (if that ever happens) and make-outs are important, but above all what matters most is making it home safe and sound to your thirteen cats.

Threat #1: Theft

And to your phones

Simple and easy and relevant to really any public adventure in Chicago. Keep your phones in your purse, zip your purse pockets shut, and keep a firm grip on your cellular device while drunk Snapchatting your BFF on the blue line. Having your phone, wallet, or clutch yanked is a total buzzkill. 

Threat #2: The OKCupid/Tinder meet-up

 

In my experience, the best approach to meeting strangers from the Internet is to:

      A. pick a place you are well-versed with

      and

      B. pick a place in a neighborhood you are comfortable getting to. 

      and

      C. Let a friend know where you are.

If you get there early enough and it's a small, local place, it can't hurt to cue your server or bartender into the origin story of your date. I usually let the bartender know that if I order a vodka water, I need out ASAP. 

Threat #3: Emergency help

 

Hopefully, you will never need anything found below. Regardless, it's not bad to have on file.

I recommend that each lady I know download the BSafe app (for iPhone or Android.) BSafe lets you connect with friends or family members when you are in need of urgent help. Some key features include

       1. the ability to schedule fake phone calls to your cell (for a low key way to excuse yourself from a situation)

       2. location check-ins so your contacts know your whereabouts

       3. timed route tracking

       4. a very impressive emergency alert system. 

When you hit your emergency alert button, sirens on your phone go off, your cameras record and send video to your contacts, and your GPS location is tracked. Ideally, you will never, ever need this, but it is a major relief having that app at the ready.

Threat #4: Creepers

 

If you are going hard at the online dating scene, take heed of this advice: buy a burner phone with limited talk and text. This will keep your private number safe from unwanted calls, texts, dick pics, etc, and it means you can put that phone on silence whenever you need a break from the dudes of OKCupid. Second, double check how to block numbers on your cell, keep your last name on lock, and save FB/Instagram/Twitter following until you feel comfortable. The right dude won't care that you had two phone numbers or concealed your personally identifiable information. 

I wish you all a successful week in finding the cute, respectful, not-creepy boys. Godspeed.

-Fearless Leader